Showing posts from August, 2013

To rapport or not to rapport, that is the question

There's a lot of nonsense written about developing rapport. Most of it suggests that rapport requires conscious effort and is inevitably worth that effort. Like much in the self-development field (and, indeed, in all changework fields) this is true, from a certain point of view.

The point of view is that of a self-aware person working one to one.  When you have superb state management and a clear purpose, then developing rapport can be a strategic move that gives you more information about the people you need to convince, play or beat to get what you want. Sociopaths can do rapport because it helps them to get what they want and they are never burdened by their impact on someone else.

As soon as you're working with a conscience, you have to question whether your commitment to your goal will override all other considerations and allow you to manipulate other people through rapport. What's likely to happen is that you are going to be drawn into a genuine connection. And that…

Setting the frame for a great NLP training

There are many reasons why training at NLP Canada Training is a special experience. Two that get lots of attention are the home-baked banana bread and the good chocolate. People are often surprised at how much they enjoy both, even if they do not eat the sweets. They notice, unconsciously, the frame that we set, test it against their experience, and settle in to do the work more comfortably and more effectively.

I am sure it's possible to set the tone for a great NLP training without greeting people with good coffee, assorted teas, and fresh baked banana bread.  But it works for us. The home baking is like taking out a billboard that says "this is a safe place." Almost before they have chosen a seat, our clients feel good about what will unfold. What kind of person has fresh, home-baked goods waiting for you when you arrive? A mom. A friend. Someone who is willing to welcome you into their home.  Nothing says "I care for you in a socially appropriate way" like …