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Showing posts from June, 2018

Do You Have to Ask For Help?

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Most people ask for help when they see no other choice. They ask when the price of helping is likely to be the highest, and when the skill of the helper needs to be the strongest. What happens is often that the help they find is too little, too late. That's hard on the person who needs the help and it's also hard on the helper. They might be reluctant to volunteer next time.
People have three obstacles to overcome before they ask for help. One is the fear that no one will want to help them. Two is the fear that no one will be able to help them. Three is the fear that they will be judged (and there will be repercussions) as incapable or weak. Let's take these one at a time, from the point of view of the person you will ask for help.
One: the fear that people won't want to help you.  The reality from the point of view of the people around you is likely to be that watching you struggle is painful. They might not want to help you, but they would probably rather help you t…

What does it take to stay committed to your goals?

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Many people believe that all they really need is to get clear about what they want. They believe in the Law of Attraction. They're sure that if they have a clear vision, they will naturally make it happen.

In my experience, they are skipping a few steps.

It's possible to get clear and get stuck. Clear is good, but it's not enough.

You need to commit to what you want and stay committed through distraction, disruption and obstacles.  That's why so many people want to hire an accountability coach: they know that knowing what they want isn't enough to get them there.

In my experience, you can't delegate accountability. It's up to you to be accountable for your actions. What you can do is seek out people (who might be coaches) who do two things: 1) remind you to look at your goals within the big picture and to "re-center your map" when you have been pulled away from your vision and 2) remind you to look back into your own experience for the skills, str…

Even when the choices are all bad, it's good to make a choice

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I wonder if what frustrates people so much about elections like the one we are having in Ontario now is that they are reminded of how often they have to make choices between alternatives that just aren't good enough.


We often want a change because what we have isn't working for us, only to decide that none of the options available are good enough either. And then we say something like, "Why bother?"

Here are three reasons to bother. It is worth making a choice, even when - especially when - you don't like any of the options:
Shift happens.  Very small changes add up to larger impacts.  It does matter even if one choice is only slightly better than another.You don't have to vote. But there will be many times when you have to make a choice in your own life when you don't like your options. Practice will make the process easier. Life will often take choices away from you. In those moments, you will want to find even the smallest space in which you can make yo…