Integrate!

We often invest a huge amount of time and effort in planning our message. We want it to be clear and strong and motivating and bullet proof. We argue and support, find more evidence, and rehearse. We work hard to make the message as strong as it could possibly be. And when we fail to be heard as we want to be heard, we blame ourselves for delivering it the wrong way. This makes it harder the next time we have to walk into a conversation or a presentation and deliver a strong, clear message. What if our delivery was fine and the problem was that the audience was not ready to hear us? The most powerful messages all begin with the same thing: the speaker finds a way to say to the audience, "I see you." © Can Stock Photo / ueuaphoto The one thing that you can be sure every audience wants is a mirror. Before they care about how you see your subject matter, they want to know how you see them. When you reflect what you see in your audience, you do two things: 1) help them...

Reflection is powerful when it is specific and directed at the future. People are often afraid to reflect on their experience because they confuse reflection with beating themselves up for what they did or didn't say or do. They're also afraid that recognizing what is good in the present will somehow stop them from making change. This is a reflex that keeps people stuck in old patterns. They may be thinking about the future, but they aren't building the bridge they need to get from here to there. The results are daydreams, wishes, and dissatisfaction without motivation. The group above is finishing up a process that began with connecting to their curiosity and energy and then moved through going deeply, vividly into their lived experience. They were reflecting not just when they were sitting and writing privately, but also when they were asking questions, remembering, and laughing together. The group experience drew them into a kind of reflection that is often ...