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Showing posts from February, 2020

Family is a state of mind

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It's Family Day long weekend in Toronto, and it's the day after Valentine's Day.

When I ask my international students about holidays, they often imagine connecting with family. They are often a very long way from home, and they imagine time spent with family as if they live in a greeting-card: parents are wise and siblings are fun and the world is a safe place.

My grandson is growing up in that kind of a family. His parents are smart and kind and love him with all their being. He is surrounded by grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins who play with him and wonder at him and want the best for him. He is blessed.


People say that you can choose family, but I wonder. I think family are the people we do not get to choose. They are the people who show up and who make us admit, more often than not, that being human is very different than being perfect. Family sometimes gives us a wonderful boost (which we did not deserve) and sometimes are the crabs in the bucket, clawing …

When did you become two people?

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When I look at this picture, I see one speaker. It's me. I don't see a personal me and a work me. I don't see the brave me and the hidden me. I see me.

I know you've read that you should have boundaries between your work life and your private life. There is wisdom in allowing yourself to experience all of yourself and that can mean creating time and space to be present wherever you are. There is no wisdom in sending a version of yourself to work and keeping a different version at home.

What do you see when you look at a picture of you at work? People often call me at NLP Canada Training and say something like "It's just for me." or "I'm interested for work." The problem is there is no such thing. You are one person and who you are changes your influence on the people who connect with you. The reverse is also true. If you don't change your own thinking or responses, you are unlikely to make change in the way you lead and influence.

When …