Integrate!

 How is that key relationship going for you: the relationship with the voice in your head? How often do you fight with that voice, or sneer at it, or walk away from it discouraged? If you were to describe a relationship with another person the way you describe your feelings about the voice in your head, how would that sound? There is no divorcing the voice in your head; you cannot silence it and you cannot make it respect your boundaries. This is the relationship that you can negotiate but not ditch. Here are three things to consider the next time the voice in your head does not seem like a good friend: The voice in the head is always on your side. It's not always tactful or friendly or upbeat, but it is on your side. You made it. You can meet the complaints and criticisms and fears with compassion. We are all in palliative care: we are all scared of running out of time or health or hope. If you were visiting someone who sounded like the voice in your head, you could dig in and fin...

If you're not reading this in Canada (and maybe if you are) you might be surprised to know that our national broadcaster produces a reality tv show based on having 5 celebrities champion 5 books until one is declared "the book Canada needs now). The show is watched by people who read books and by people who would like to read books (if only they had time or liked reading). The format is basically debate followed by a vote to eliminate one book each day. In many ways, this strikes me as a typical meeting format for deciding how to spend limited resources. People make arguments until someone loses and their budget or their product or their idea gets cut. It's so typical that we rarely wonder if there is another way to arrive at a solution. If you're engaged in a debate to the death of your idea or your position or your budget, consider these lessons from Canada Reads: You only have to push a couple of buttons to have people abandon their principles in favour of...

I have been working with an advanced communication group and thinking about the quickest way to catch the story someone is telling so that you can support or change it. It seems to me that the essential question to ask is this: "Is this a story about finding something or is it a story about fighting something?" There might be other options, but for the moment, let's assume that it's useful to start with this one frame. Finding or Fighting? Problem solving is generally pitched as a fight against something (although some people love to explore for answers). Creativity is generally framed as a finding of something (but some people describe it as a battle). There is no set formula: you have to listen for clues in the words and structure that someone is using in a message. Once you have a working idea whether they are working to find something or to fight something, you can listen to chunk down further. People look for things they have lost, things they know exist ...