Integrate!

Are you too tired? I think we should be asking this question a lot more often than we do. We tend to say "this is too important for me to rest." What we should be saying is "this is too important to tackle when I am this tired." The science of fatigue and sleep deprivation is pretty straight forward. In essence, being overtired is like being drunk: you feel clever but you're really not clever. You can't learn when you're overtired, which means you can't adapt to change. You really shouldn't be making decisions or negotiating them or doing anything that demands your best thinking. You will never have your best thinking when you are sleep deprived. I am at the beach this week because I have been too tired. I stretch. I accomplish great things. People think I'm the Energizer bunny.  And I am, when I remember that even batteries need regular recharging. I am here because I have too much to do over the next few months to do it in a fog. I ...

The hardest part of the holidays is the expectation that they are supposed to be easy and fun. The very word "holiday" suggests a lovely break from work, a time when the world is a happy place full of lovely people, good food, and fun things to do. Occasionally, happiness happens. There are nice surprises when we are looking the other way. They are truly lovely breaks, moments to celebrate and remember that the world can be a really great place.  Most of the time, happiness develops slowly and with effort. We make choices and notice results and make an effort, and sometimes we notice that we're making progress and it feels good. Holidays are happy when we think about what has made us happy and do more of that. It snowed today. People worry that we won't have snow for Christmas and they complain bitterly when it snows before Christmas.  Some of them are frustrated and unhappy because weather changes their plans. It's quite inconvenient. This ...

Someone asked me this week, "how do you teach a kid to let go of a failure and move on." You can't get there from here. As long as you are thinking about failure, you are holding onto it. Even if the voice in your head is chanting "Let it go." We're not built that way. Our brains are built to let go of things we are not accessing, not giving any attention. As soon as we give something our attention, we make it easier to access. You make your fears and your failures stronger when you give them your attention. Even if you're telling yourself "just let it go." "Let it go" is impossible advice. It's like telling kids to "sit still and listen." Many kids listen by moving. They can't listen if they sit still and they can't sit still if they are listening. One of the secrets to leadership is to give people instructions they can follow. In this case, the instruction is not to "let go." It's "bu...