Solving puzzles

Do you like puzzles? Many people do - they are able to relax in the face of uncertainty and play until things fall into place - whether those things are jigsaw pieces or Sudoku numbers. If you ride the GO train during rush hour, you will see some of these people, intent and relaxed, pens poised over their papers. You will also see the other kind of people, the kind who use puzzles as a test of their ability to face the problems their days will bring. They move quickly, although they may get stuck between movements; their brows are furrowed, and they look relieved, not pleased, when they finish.

Our family has gone through phases of playing with those tangled puzzles that require you free a ring or handle from a wire form (sometimes they are made with wood and/or rope). My best chance of solving those puzzles always depends on the certainty with which I approach the task: as I relax in my certainty that I'm not going to solve the puzzle, the ring slips off into my hand. This does not often happen when I settle down to analyze the shape and solve the puzzle.

It doesn't sound like strategy: I will relax and play and keep my attention elsewhere so that the solution will fall into my lap. It wouldn't help you pass grade three much less get you through grad school. Except that it might. A relaxed, resourceful mind will pick up patterns. A tense, focused mind will filter for the patterns it expects and be frustrated by the patterns that are really there. That's why Eureka! moments occur in the bathtub, under the influence of warm, flowing water.

It's hard to play with important puzzles, to sidle up to them casually and make a comment about the weather without meeting their eyes. It's hard to open ourselves to noticing what is there when we are very clear about what we want to be there. As in yoga, the greatest discipline is required for the deepest relaxation and the most consummate flexibility.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The hypnotic contract

Under what conditions would you allow someone else to tell you what to think?   If you have watched a stage hypnotist, you have seen what looks like one person exercising remarkable control over the thoughts and actions of another. It is fascinating, in part, because we have all seen it happen in real life. Suddenly someone we know seems to be relying on someone else to do the thinking.  Even if the influence is good, it is a little frightening. The secret is that there are no magic words.  In order to lead someone into hypnosis, that person has to be willing to go there. Often the people you see on stage are more than willing. For whatever reasons, they are enthusiastic about giving up self control and allowing someone else to take charge. They know that there are limits to what can happen on stage and they are only agreeing to give up control within those limits. What you see in hypnosis is an agreement between two people. Like all agreements between human beings, it stretches as far...
Read more

Good with people

What do you think of when you hear the phrase "good with people?" When a wine is good with steak, it means that both the steak and the wine taste better when enjoyed together. If you are 'good with people' that could mean that both you and they perform better when you work together. "Good with people" should not be confused with charm or grace. Many famous leaders have, in the absence of any obvious charm or eloquence, managed to get people to produce at high levels. Some introverts fail to be influential; some extraverts fail to be effective. The most useful criteria for "good with people" is the performance that results when an individual is working with others: does the sum exceed the total of the parts? Or would they all have been better working from separate cubicles? We are entering the season of networking: it's a perfect time to observe the difference between the people who are working the room and the people who are making the room w...
Read more

The fine line between observations, suggestions and commands

I have been watching Tony Robbins this week in the documentary called " I Am Not Your Guru ." You can read a nicely ambivalent review in the Financial Times here.   I think the ambivalence is built into the process, which might be surprising given the loud celebration that characterizes the Date with Destiny in the film. For those of us whose work has evolved from NLP, there are lessons to be learned from modelling the most famous and successful practitioner of NLP (Robbins has far surpassed all the founders by all measures of success). Because he does so much so well, Robbins lets us see how fine the line is between observing and suggesting. Let me explain. Robbins frames his "interventions" both with the exercises and performances we do not see in the film and with his invitations. The film opens with an intervention with a young man who says he is suicidal; it is only later that we see Robbins say he is looking for someone who is suicidal to work with. Since...
Read more