Tuesday, April 26, 2011

In free fall

Have you ever had a major relationship shift or disappear in what feels like an instant? Afterwards, you will think of all the different ways it was predictable, but there is something in our brain that resists this kind of change so strongly that we never do predict it. It always seems that tomorrow will come, the bad patch will pass, and we will get back to normal.

Look around your life and count on your fingers the number of days that both were normal and felt normal.

Something has changed in my life; something I thought was solid as the earth has turned to vapour. And so I am in free fall - off the mountain ledge and down and down and down. . .

A curious thing happens in some of the stories I like. A main character falls down and down, through all of the air, then through the water, and then further down until she lands in the grass and falls asleep.

Under the water, in the depths, there is always a different life. And when we climb back to the surface, the earth is reassuringly solid but everything will have shifted.

If you need me, I will be under water, searching for the thing I need to know or find to bring to the surface and move through this deep sea change.

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