Thursday, October 06, 2011

What do you want?

I think this is the second most confrontational question one can ask. (The first is: who are you?). It is not less difficult for being said in warm, supportive tones.  It is a question I am asking myself these days, aware that the answer is probably simple and living with it will probably be complicated.

What do you want?

What happens in you when you look at the question.  Is there a rush of energy? Does you mind fill with swirling possibilities or empty to a stark vision of one thing now out of reach?  Do you feel inspired or discouraged? How is your breath different now?

What do you want?

I am pushing now - pushing you and pushing me.  Because I've played this game before, I can run quickly through the easy things - the bills paid off, the trip, the change in the house.  I can run through the "I know what I don't want" and counter it appropriately.  I can make a list of the areas where I need useful outcomes: health, home, work, relationships.  We can talk and talk and talk.  It's a way of working around or towards or into the question.

What do you want?

I want to answer the question differently, to answer the question in a way that makes this very moment richer and this very day more full of life.  I want to ask myself to find that moment when I have already experienced what I want, and to hold that feeling far from the voice that challenges and makes exceptions. I want to wonder at that feeling that will let me know I have what I want.

And then I want to grow the space around that intention that I have kept separate from words and simply hold the thought itself.


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