Monday, February 25, 2013

Reframe. Relate. Recharge.

Bad stuff happens to good, smart people. There are lots of good ways to think about life, but there is no way to out-think life.  Stuff happens.

In my life right now, stuff is happening in my back. I've had significant back pain for two full months now, and I have to say that pain sucks. Given the choice, I would definitely wake up tomorrow pain free and able to move comfortably. I have tried rest, pills, chiropractic care, massage, nlp, hypnosis and EFT.  I still experience pain whenever I try to move: getting up or down or walking or standing. All hurt.

So, you might wonder, what's the good of NLP if it first allowed me to make the choices that got me here and second has not fixed me yet?

1) Reframing.  I am not happy about what is happening and I recognize that I have an opportunity to understand differently and make new choices.  Going back to the patterns that got me here is literally not an option at the moment, and that's a good thing.

2) Relating. I know that the fastest way to problem solve is to heighten my awareness of the good things available to me through my connections with other people. Sometimes I phone a friend and ask for good old fashioned sympathy. But more often, I draw energy from my purposeful connections with people who have energy and freedom and excitement. I know that I am surrounded by examples of exactly the kind of thinking and behaviour I need to get through this and past it.

3) Recharging.  Pain is draining and distracting. It is allowing me to develop better strategies for rest, for setting priorities and for noticing what is so important to me that I will do it anyway.  I know that this time (frustrating as it is) will allow me to find a new relationship with parts of me that I have been neglecting. Ultimately, I will learn from this.

These are not small triumphs.  Chronic pain plays tricks with one's perceptions. Staying sane and hopeful, meeting commitments, and making intentional choices cannot be taken for granted. The temptations to do dumb things are endless, whether the dumb thing is to hide in a fog, to push through regardless of the cost, or to give up on what you want because it will hurt.

Because I do practice what I preach, I am staying relatively sane and hopeful. I am remaining curious about what I will learn and how this will help me reach goals in areas that feel blocked. This is to me the most important part of NLP. It is a model of learning and the fastest way to learn is to make some mistakes and then get really curious about how you will move past them.


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