When we are stuck, our problem seems to occupy our entire field of perception. Wherever we look, there's the problem. This is also true when someone else comes to us for help with one of their problems. Whether we are driven by our own egos or a genuine desire to support, we look at a person and see a problem. In both cases, because we see the problem wherever we look, we feel that our entire value is tied up in solving the problem.
When we open our eyes and take a closer look, we realize that problems are not monoliths. All problems have holes in them, times or places or actions where they vanish for a bit. Solving the problem means looking through the holes instead of at the problem. And then maybe pushing the edges back, a little at a time, so that we can see more of what is on the other side. If we're not sure the hole is real, we just need to ask someone else to look through it with us. There's nothing quite as intriguing as two kids taking turns peering through a small hole in a big wall.