Saturday, April 02, 2016

It's hard to speak well if you don't expect to make a difference

People often talk about communication as a skill set. That makes it sound like a good communicator can communicate well at any time in any situation. The truth is more complicated.

A good communicator's primary skill is identifying a result they want and believing they will find the words and presentation to make it happen. They are not just good with words or blessed with presence. They are good at seeing a possibility and pursuing it through communication.

If you want to dramatically improve the impression you make, begin by getting very clear about the result you want. Then nurture your expectation that this is a realistic goal. You have to believe you will achieve the result to make other people believe they should cooperate.

You probably have a routine meeting to attend soon. You probably have a strong expectation that much of that meeting will have nothing to do with you. You probably expect a small percentage of people to hear what you have to say and take action because you have spoken.

Those expectations will speak much louder than the words you choose. Instead of writing scripts you don't believe, spend the time nurturing a goal for what you say and a strong, realistic expectation that you can connect in a way that makes it happen.

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